Working in this field of change, one thing that has fascinated me is the number of colourful reasons that people are unable to reach their true potential.
It always starts with, If it wasn’t for ..... I would be successful now or if so and so hadn’t ...... I’d be living my best life.
So often I listen to people explain why they are not where they want to be and it always seems to be because of something or somebody else. 98% of the time it’s not because 98% of the time it’s you.
So when I hear that my response is” That sounds like a “You” Problem.
Now I think it might be necessary for me to give a few examples of what a “You” problem is.
A man can't believe that he has received a parking ticket. He is outraged that the company has charged him and why this keeps happening to him. He rages on that the ticket machines were not working and he was unable to get a ticket and it said that the maximum stay was 2 hours. when asked how long he had stayed in the car park his answer is 3 hours. Sound like a You problem.
A woman sits with her friends complaining that she has not been given a pay rise. She quibbles and moans about how she has been overlooked then goes on to say that had she had gotten a pay raise she would have definitely put more effort into meeting her deadlines and getting in on time but not now. hmmm. Sound like a You problem?
A handsome man sits with a friend discussing their lives and he says that he would have been so much more successful if he had had somebody behind him pushing him into his education. if he had just had somebody telling him what he should do he would be in such a better position than he is now.
Now example 3 does not seem as clear cut as the others but if I was speaking to this individual I would tell him that this my friend is a You problem. In fact, I did because that handsome man in example 3 is me. I would always say that if I just had somebody to tell me to do this subject or to get better grades or head for this career I would be so much better off. I stead I was left to my own devices and I flop. It was so easy for me to point the finger at somebody else because then it wasn't my fault. I didn't have to take responsibility for my shortcomings.
So many people go through life with this mindset. continuing to blame someone or something for not being where or who they want to be in life. With this mindset, they continue on their way, trapped in their self made prison as a victim of unfortunate circumstances.
All is not lost though. There is one really good thing about a "You" problem.
If the problem starts with you then it ends with you. You have total control over a "you" problem which means, if you can control it you can fix it.
The first step in fixing a You problem is recognising that it is a "you" problem. Take responsibility for your actions. When you can acknowledge that you have placed yourself in this position, it's easier to take the next step
Once you have accepted responsibility the next step you need to take is to strategise your plan to address the said problem. Now that you know it's you how are you going to change it? How are you going to improve from this?
Want that pay rise? Make sure you're meeting your deadlines, coming in on time. Show them why you should be awarded that raise.
Want to avoid a parking ticket? follows the conditions of the car park. Stick to the time limits, the list goes on…..
Take responsibility.. It's as simple as that. Once you've worked out what changes you need to make. Make them and be consistent.
Simply take responsibility for your actions and you’ll be on your way to taking control and living your best life.