Coaching as a Coming Out: Why Queer People Need Space to Imagine Bigger

by Owain Gwynfryn
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By Owain Gwynfryn

Coming out isn’t always a one-time thing. For many of us in the LGBTQ+ community, it’s something we do over and over — with family, friends, colleagues, and sometimes even with ourselves.

As a coach, I’ve come to see another kind of coming out that happens in my sessions. It’s when someone quietly admits that the life they’ve built isn’t the life they want. That the job they’re in, the relationship they’re holding onto, or the persona they’re presenting… isn’t them anymore. Or maybe never was.

And what they’re really asking — beneath all the surface goals — is:

Am I allowed to want more than this?

As a gay man who’s rebuilt his life multiple times — from clinic owner to opera singer to coach — I know the courage it takes to stop performing and start being.

Why coaching matters for queer lives
For queer people, life often starts with editing ourselves. Playing safe. Fitting in. We get good at reading a room, at hiding, at prioritising survival over self-expression.

But safety can become a cage.
And sometimes the biggest act of courage is saying:

I want a life that feels like mine.

That’s where coaching can be a powerful tool. It offers a non-judgemental, expansive space to dream without limits, to unpack what you really want — not just what’s expected of you. And, most importantly, to take action from a place of clarity and choice.

From fitting in to belonging
The clients I work with are often already accomplished. They’ve done the therapy, read the books, ticked the boxes. But something’s still missing. Often, it’s joy. Play. Freedom.

They’re not broken. They’re just tired of living a life shaped around other people’s comfort.

In coaching, we talk about values, purpose, and vision — but beneath all of that is the deeper question:

What would it mean to build a life where I belong to myself?

That might mean starting a business, creating art, changing careers, or finally taking up space in a relationship. But it always starts with permission.

What I want queer people to know
You don’t need to justify your dreams.
You don’t need to wait for more credentials, more confidence, or more time.
And you’re not too late.

Coaching isn’t a magic fix — but it can be a mirror, a map, and a megaphone.
It can help you remember who you were before the world told you who to be.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s the most powerful kind of coming out there is.

About the Author
Owain Gwynfryn is a life and small business coach, opera singer, and founder of Big Gay Out — a London-based events community for gay, bi, trans and queer men. He helps LGBTQ+ clients reclaim their joy, define success on their own terms, and build lives that feel as good as they look.