The dating world has radically changed over the last 20 years. I constantly interact with both women and men and finding a suitable partner is becoming very difficult.
The masculine and feminine roles have been reversed. The feminist movement has spilled into Hollywood movies and TV shows which has emotionally conditioned men into acting like needy little boys, chasing them down to the airport and professing their undying love for them.
I dare you to try it in real life. You will get rejected or potentially have the police at your door.
How do I know? Because I was once your average, compliant nice guy who was always trying to please other people, including women.
Women are always asking me, “Where are all the real men?” They don’t want a guy who lives for the weekend and wants to Netflix and Chill every night they are together. They want a man with his own life, agenda and purpose and CHOOSING to spend his free time with them in a fun filled setting.
When men start to lose focus on their lives and careers and focus on the relationship, women tend to back away and can’t figure out what is wrong. Listen up guys, focusing on the relationship is the woman’s job. Their “Feminine Energy” is all about opening to receive love.
So, when a man is TOO focused on pleasing her and the relationship and not focusing on his career and achieving, he has moved into feminine energy and the sexual polarity disappears – therefore the attraction ceases.
“Masculine Energy” is about success, achievement, confidence and reaching goals.
How many times has a girl told you about being attracted to ambitious, confident men, almost disregarding looks entirely?
With the above information in mind – align your masculine energy and keep it in mind the next time you have a first date.
Here are my DO tips for men to have successful first dates:
1. You MUST be the leader
Guys, this is important. It is your job to take care of the plans. Book a dinner table, bowling alley or whatever it may be IN ADVANCE.
Women do not want to make decisions. They will spend a lot of time getting ready to look sexy and beautiful with the excitement to see what you have in store for them. If they turn up and hear the phrase, “So um, what do you want to do?” your potential for a second date probably decreases by 50%.
Use your initiative and take the lead. Plan a fun evening. Everybody gets stuck in a rut within their everyday life so doing something fun will make her feel good. All women want to do is show up, follow your lead, get to know you and have a good time.
2. Let HER do most of the talking
I want to re-visit the statement about feminine energy. Feminine energy is about opening to receive love. Ask her personal questions that she will enjoy answering about her life, dreams and past. Have you ever seen a group of women talking? They are discussing 5 different subjects at one time at a lightning pace no sane man can keep up with.
Women LOVE to talk. By asking her questions and being interested in who she really is, she will continue to open. They are emotional by nature so they connect with conversation, similar experiences and feeling understood and understanding.
There was a reason we were born with 2 ears and 1 mouth. Listen and acknowledge what she is saying.
Share stories, make her laugh and steer away from the typical questions and engage her with emotional questions. For example:
Where are you from? COULD BE What is best memory about your home city growing up?
What do you do for a living? COULD BE Do you remember the moment you discovered that that was what you wanted to do, how did you know is was your passion?
3. Make a move
This goes back to the man taking the lead. She will give you signs throughout the night that are important to pay attention too. Is she touching you? Sitting close? Gazing at you? Laughing at your shit jokes?
Don’t wait for her, just go for it (if she is showing signs of course, don’t just randomly try and kiss her). If she pulls away at least you will know. But do not lose your cool. Say something like, “It’s OK if you are a bad kisser,” with a smile. Losing your cool and getting upset will not get you any closer.
Here are my DON’T’s:
1. Talking about negative experiences
How hard your life has been, how your ex makes your life hell and how much you hate your boss will destroy all attraction for men and women. People want to feel uplifted in your presence, not like your counsellor. Women and Men want to feel positive and have a good time so talking about fun things and laughter is the key to success.
2. Don’t talk about wanting a relationship –
Straight away this will make the other person feel uneasy. Women are all about opening to receive love – but only when they feel safe to do so. Talking about relationships too early will make them close and try and change the subject.
Dating, especially first dates should be a fun experience. You may be a little nervous but that is OK. Smile, enjoy the evening and just be yourself. Let everything else just flow naturally.