UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARTNER'S MAP OF THE WORLD

by Dr Grace Anderson
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UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARTNER’S “MAP OF THE WORLD”.
Understanding your partner’s “map of the world” is vital in every relationship. Knowing your partner’s upbringing style makes it easier to love him/her.

Relationships can be sweet at the best of times. However, after the first few months or even a year, the love chemicals wear off and you are left wondering where all the love and passion you had at the beginning have gone.

You can even begin to wonder whether or not you even truly know the person you hooked yourself up with at all!


It is a very strange feeling…

You are not the only one to feel like that. It is strange, because all the promises your partner made to you when you started out now look like they never even existed! Did he/she lie to you when you were courting?


It is important to remember that you and your partner came from different backgrounds and therefore see the world from different angles, with constant reference to your own “map of the world” – that is, the way you were brought up.

If someone called Tom came from a family where his parents yelled at each other when they had an argument, as a child, that would be his map of the world. So, Tom would always think: “To settle an argument with my partner, the best way would be to yell at her until she heard me well enough to agree with my point of view. I know this is the best way to go about it, because that was how my parents settled their disagreements”.

We can’t blame Tom for this style of communication, because he didn’t know any other way to settle matters while he was growing up.

Imagine, having now grown up and Tom has fallen in love with a partner, Alice, whose “map of the world” is totally different from his.

Alice grew up in a home where her parents settled their disagreements quietly – away from the children. They would go into their bedroom together and speak quietly to each other until they regained their composures. Then they would come back into the living room, smiling as if nothing ever happened. Or, perhaps, the children would see them arguing briefly, but their Dad would walk out of the room and go somewhere else, to give the woman time to calm down. When next the children see their parents together, all is well and there is peace.

Now paired with Tom, Alice is totally at a loss at the way Tom keeps yelling at her in the presence of their children, whenever they had an argument! She is totally distraught by Tom’s “shouty” behaviour because she sees it as totally disrespectful and unloving. However, Tom doesn’t understand why Alice seems to be ignoring his outbursts. “Why doesn’t she just yell back at me?”

So, how do you get Tom and Alice to understand each other’s communication style?
Well, that’s where I come in as the Coach!

Effective Communication Skills and Conflict Resolution are both vital skills that Couples in relationships need to learn and work on if they want to stay together. Learning about each other’s backgrounds is also vital for the couples, to understand each other’s “map of the world”, so, they can fully understand why their partner behaves as he/she does.


Shouting Instead of Talking?

Can Couples Change their Natural Habits?

Yes, they can, if they are keen on staying together. It is not easy, but it can be done.
Where there is a strong love and connection, repairing a relationship is very possible.
Willingness to understand and accept each other’s way of thinking is vital.

Let’s work together to save your marriage or relationship!

Click this link to book a Free Discovery Coaching Session With me.
https://rb.gy/kdhmh
Visit my website: https://drgraceanderson.com to learn more about my services.

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DR GRACE ANDERSON
Dr Grace Anderson, Ph.D, is a retired Headteacher, having taught for over 40 yeras in both Nigeria and London, UK. She was the outstanding Principal of Emotan College, Benin City, a Model Girls' Secondary School. In London, she was the outstanding Head of two English Departments: Geoffry Chaucer School and Eastlea Community School, before retiring. Since retiring, Dr Anderson has re-trained as an NLP Practitioner, and A Transformational Master Coach in many Areas, including Relationship Coaching. She is now an Accredited Master Practitioner helping Divorced Women, or Women who have had a breakup, recover fully from the emotional overwhelm and heartbreak, so they can replan their lives and move on positively to build a happier and greater future for themselves and their children, if they have any. Dr Anderson is also an award-winning author. She has published three novels and several journals. Her memoir, Ada in London, Surviving Traumas of Divorce, (2005) is a best-seller on Amazon. Contact her - grace@drgraceanderson - to book your Free Discovery Call with her. It would be my great pleasure to get you started on the road to full recovery from your heartbreak and emotional overwhelm. Thank you.

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