Do have arguments in your head about something that hasn't even happened yet?

by Sharn Somasiri
View the authors Profile

You know that moment when you’re clearing up the kitchen after dinner, you’re sorting the dishes, loading the dishwasher, and wiping the counters down?

And all of a sudden, you catch yourself having an argument in your head, with a family member who left you feeling frustrated.

You were just trying to get the kitchen cleaned up, and now you’re having a full blown argument with them in your head, preparing what you’re going to say to them the next time this issue comes up.

Here's the thing. Having this argument over and over again in your head is not going to resolve the situation. It's just leaving you feeling more on edge and stealing your peace.

There is a better way to handle this, and I'll be sharing that in my next email.

But right now, let’s understand what’s going on. You’ve dealt with difficult situations in the past. They put your nervous system on high alert. Your nervous system felt unsafe, and the alarm was turned on.

Your nervous system is no longer unsafe. You are safe. There’s no battle coming. It’s just that no one’s told your nervous system that. No one has switched off the alarm.

So that’s what you now need to do.

Here's something you can do in the moment, the next time you find yourself in the kitchen having an argument in your head again.

Take a couple of deep breaths and let your nervous system know there is no danger. You are safe. The alarm can go off now.

Warmest Wishes,
Sharn x