by Kath CheerThis is World Childless Week, which raises awareness of the experiences of people who are childless by circumstance rather than by choice. We all know people in this situation but we rarely hear their voices on the issue.
It’s now more than 20 years since I accepted I would not have children and my life is good. But there are still situations that remind me how different from the norm my experiences are and at those times I really value my friends who don’t have children.
There are also situations when I realise that being childless has taught me to be quite pragmatic and resilient. Maybe I can’t organise a birthday party for a dozen 10-year-olds or cope with getting children up and off to school before a day’s work. I may never have to experience the anguish of worry about my child’s health or happiness. But I have learnt to live and thrive in the life that I have and I can approach the future with equanimity and optimism, confident I will manage the hand I am dealt.
Until recently, I hadn’t spoken about my childlessness with anyone except my therapist, my partner and a few close friends but I think it’s important. About 20% of women and 25% of men in the UK are childless at the age of 45 – either by circumstance or choice. That’s a lot of people!
I have a question for you. How do you respond to those in your life who may be coming to terms with childlessness? To what extent are you able to offer empathy and a listening ear if it’s needed without resorting to advice, platitudes or assumptions?
And if you are experiencing and want to talk about the grief of childlessness or even, perhaps, start to take steps towards embracing the life you have without children, I am now dual qualified as a counsellor and coach and have sessions available.
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