Experiencing difficult conversations

by Zoë Hughes
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I recently had a difficult conversation with an important person. It was something I had put off (for some very logical and valid reasons)... however the delay didn't make it any easier.

In fact, the more time that passed the more anxious I became. Not consistently anxious, but when I was reminded of it, my feelings seemed to snowball. I realise now that I was holding onto tension and it was building up as I held onto everything. Staying silent.

This silence set the conditions for thoughts to spiral into stories which grew arms and legs. When I finally had the conversation, it was an anticlimax. I had unknowingly built things up so much that a huge amount of expectation weighed upon me.

Initially I felt relief having spoken my mind and then a delayed feeling of deflation and confusion that what happened didn't match up with the story I had in my head. When the conversation unfolded completely differently from how I imagined, I just didn't expect it.

So... reflecting, my key takeaways are:

1. FEAR paralyses. (False Evidence Appearing Real)
2. Delaying rarely solves the issue: it increases stress.
3. You can only control how you show up: not the outcome.
4. An open mind leaves room for any outcome and reduces stress.

Where have tough conversations taught you a lesson or two?