Why you feel stuck (and what to do about it)

by Claire Williams
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We’ve all been there. Struggling to get out of bed on a Monday morning, feeling sluggish, lacking motivation and realising every day has started to feel like a repeat of the last. When this happens we often suspect something needs to change, but not know what the problem is or how to resolve it.

This isn’t a nice way to feel. However if the above resonates, getting unstuck could be easier than you think. Below are three reasons why you might be feeling stuck and what to do about them.

Living life on autopilot

Life is busier than ever, and it’s very easy to get sucked into a routine. Chores, work, family commitments, looking after our health, seeing friends… the list goes on. While routines are great for reducing the amount of headspace required on a daily and weekly basis, they aren’t always conducive to living a happy, fun and fulfilling life.

Even parts of our routine that are designed to be “fun” can start to feel like the opposite when we’re doing them for the hundredth time, or trying to squeeze them in amongst various other demands.

What to do about it

The first thing to do is look at your usual weekly schedule and consider what parts are enjoyable. Exercise, seeing friends and hobbies should all be fun and fulfilling. If not, it might be time to switch things up. For example, running a different route, trying a new gym or exercise class, going out for dinner rather than ordering a takeaway or switching up where and when you meet with friends. Making small changes will stop you feeling like you’re on autopilot and help you break you out of routines that no longer serve you.

The second is understanding your core values, and making sure these are honoured in your day-to-day life. A good coach can help you get clear on these and help you consider where each value is and isn’t showing up for you right now. This knowledge can lead to powerful insights about what needs to be changed, added or removed to break you out of a rut and take steps towards a more fun and fulfilling life.

Finally, consider whether there are any areas of your life that are taking up a disproportionate amount of your time and energy for little return. You might also be neglecting areas of your life that are important to you for things that are less enjoyable and not in line with your current priorities. This is something a good coach can help you identify and work on, often using a tool called “The Wheel of Life.”

Getting too comfortable

No-one wants to feel stressed and burned out, but did you know that not having enough stress can also have a detrimental impact on your health and wellbeing? This phenomenon is called “rust out” (the polar opposite of burnout) and can lead to lack of energy and motivation and a general feeling of apathy and disengagement.

Rust out occurs when we don’t feel challenged or stretched, and spend our days safely inside our comfort zone. Although chronic stress has a detrimental impact on our health, a short period of low-level stress can be energising and leave us with a sense of achievement afterwards. Examples include preparing for an important presentation, training for a long distance race or studying for an exam.

What to do about it

If you identify with the symptoms and causes of rust out, consider:

Exploring new opportunities: This could be taking up a new hobby, volunteering, taking on a short-term challenge or offering to take on additional responsibilities at work. These things provide a renewed sense of purpose and excitement.

Learning something new: Whether taking a course, studying for a qualification or learning a language, developing new skills gives you a sense that you’re making progress with something and working towards a goal. These activities could also open up more opportunities for you in the future.

Booking a trip: A change of scenery can help you see things from a new perspective. Travelling also involves an element of embracing the unknown, navigating an unfamiliar location and trying new things, all of which require stepping outside of your comfort zone. You’re likely to return feeling refreshed and maybe even inspired to make some longer term changes.

Being afraid of the unknown

If you’re still feeling stuck after switching up your routine and finding new ways to step outside your comfort zone, it might be time to consider making a bigger change. However, this is where many people freeze, often because their brain defaults to thinking about everything that could go wrong rather than the benefits.

While it’s also important to be realistic and avoid doing anything reckless, it’s worth carefully weighing up the potential positive outcomes, as well as the risks, of any longer term changes you’re considering. Sometimes we have beliefs about ourselves and the world around us which sabotage us and prevent us reaching our full potential. A good coach can help you identify these and offer strategies to help you overcome them.

What to do about it

If you could do anything, what would you do? Now think about what’s stopping you. Sometimes these things are very real, such as a lack of time and money. However, when you dig beneath the surface you might also identify a lack of confidence, think you’ll fail or believe that changing something (e.g. getting a new job) will lead to you being in a worse situation than you’re in now. This can lead to talking yourself out of changes that could be very positive, especially over the longer term.

What can you do next?

I hope the above tips have been useful. If this article has resonated with you and you’d like to explore these feelings further and create a plan to recapture your energy and excitement, please get in touch.