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How can we listen to others when we aren't listening to ourselves?

Coach Richard Harkness by Richard Harkness
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We can often feel like people we care about aren’t listening to us…

But are we REALLY listening to them?

Or is something in the way of us being able to do so?

You’ve likely heard expressions like “you can’t pour from an empty cup’.

In a similar way we can’t fully listen to others when we can’t listen to ourselves.

Some signs that you might not be allowing yourself to listen to your inner voice are :

Filling natural gaps in time with social media or games.

Filling almost every silence with music, podcast or audiobooks.

Ignoring that inner voice that is telling you something is wrong.

Feeling like nobody ever listens to you.

Distracting yourself with any of the usual soothers ( alcohol, drugs, food etc ).

Here’s a few ways to hear your inner guide better:



Get used to allowing periods of silence. Build up to it if needed.

Recognise when you’re getting agitated and restless because you don’t know what to listen to or watch and instead chose to leave the distraction off. Sit with the discomfort for a while.

Get outdoors for a walk or other exercise without headphones and if possible without your phone.

Once you start to value your own voice you may find you’re more able to accept the voice of others.

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