Originally posted on my blog at: https://rebekkadale.wixsite.com/resilience/blog
Sometimes the reality of the situation is so much better than you thought it was going to be. You spend hours, days or weeks worrying about something that’s going to happen, and then when it actually happens it’s fine. So, were those hours of worry and anxiety really worth it?
This happened to me last year. When I was made redundant due to Covid-19, we realised we were going to have to downsize to a smaller apartment. I loved our apartment, it was beautiful, we had 2 bedrooms and a secret room which was an office with an in-built bar. I loved living in that place, looking out at the amazing views and hosting dinner parties with friends.
We ended up signing a contract on a tiny 1-bedroom place that I didn’t really like, with a wall of cabinets in lieu of a full-sized kitchen and a wardrobe that I KNEW wouldn’t fit even a quarter of our clothes.
I was so stressed in the lead-up to moving in. I knew I was going to hate the place. I spent ages worrying about how we’d store our clothes, about being in such a small space with my husband every day (would I kill him, would he divorce me?!) and picking fault with the new neighbourhood.
As we prepared our boxes and got ready for moving day, I imagined the stress of arriving in the new apartment, the arguments that we’d have as we tried to figure out where to store everything, the depression that I would surely feel every day as I kept walking into things in the too-small bedroom.
It got so bad that I’d find myself crying in anticipation of how terrible it was going to be.
What actually happened surprised me, and frankly shocked my husband (who had also been worried about how I’d cope)!
I just got on with it.
After the initial 5 minutes where I panicked at the sight of 30 moving boxes taking up literally ALL the space in the apartment, I got moving and got practical. I unpacked, figured out solutions, and tried to let go of my need for control just enough to let my husband have some say on things too. And 24 hours later we were mostly unpacked and settled.
Since then, I’ve not once thought back to my other place, or felt depressed about our new situation. I’ve just accepted that this is the new norm, and I feel fine. I’m discovering the perks of the new neighbourhood, and getting on with life. The size of the apartment is not even a “thing” anymore.
So what’s my point in sharing this with you?
If I had been more focused on living in the present, instead of worrying about the future, I’d have done a lot less crying and been a lot less anxious.
As Eckhart Tolle puts it:
“Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry – all forms of fear – are caused by too much future, and not enough present.”
So the next time that you find yourself worrying about something that may or may not happen in the future, interrupt yourself and question whether this is a good use of your time. Notice where you are, what you’re doing and enjoy the moment that you’re in. Because it’s the only moment that you can really control.