Nooo! Another man who messed up with your life! Hey, it is ok. The Cinderella fairy tale is just on the books and let’s be honest… who wants to meet only one man in life and stick with him for the rest of our lives. Come on! We must bump our heads before we reach the right one ????
Ending up a relationship might be hard, and the ex can be not so sweet splitting up, for whatever reason. We don’t like emotional breakdowns, and when it happens we lose control, we promise Revenge! Ok, before turning ourselves into Darth Vader from StarWars, let’s see how we can still follow the Light using these 3 ways:
1- Keep calm your anger - Write down your negative thoughts.
Things didn’t go the way you wanted. He decided to Split up with you. So many things stay unsaid, and it usually happens that just after we finish the discussion, we think “Oh! I really wanted to say so, and I didn’t!” or “I still want to tell him so and so!”. Possibly, it is the anger still pushing our intentions. So, how can we deal with that? It is time for some homework ???? Write down your thoughts! Write down all those things you would like to tell him a, d you could not say. The way you write them is up to you (paper, pc, phone), find the way you can easily reread your thoughts. Open up your feelings and emotions; be honest. Once you have done, keep or save the document. Every time you feel that anger and that instinct to talk to him, take the paper and read your Thoughts, instead. Trust me, by the time; you'll feel calmer about him and all the situation. You will learn how to dominate your anger. When we face a big discussion with someone, and we are full of rage we don’t have the right emotional balance with ourselves. Anger can take control of us and of the words we are saying. Result: the discussion will never end, and we won’t get out of the inner conflict.
2- End of the blame. A strong one, but it is the only way to move on from your past. Even if we are talking of the ex. End of blame doesn’t mean we need to forget about what happened to us, especially if we break emotionally. Blaming your ex is not the solution. I know it comes naturally LOL!
Think about yourself, the way you were involved in the story, the ways you react in the relationship, your emotional status, etc. Sometimes we can see things, but we decide not to see them because they hurt us and then we seem “surprised”.
And if he (really) is a “nice guy”, it is good to stop blaming him anyway. Keep blaming your ex, it is a way to hold us back with the past, we keep him alive and this is not what we want, right?
3- Take some time for yourself. You just had a breakdown, honey! Don’t need to rush on websites or visit all the bars and clubs in your area to find another man. And a break is what you need. Dedicate more time to yourself to recover from your emotional breakdown, learn how to keep away the bad emotions connected to your ex, surround yourself with good friends, spend more time with your family (if they don’t get you mad of course LOL!). The best thing of getting closer to ourselves is to understand which kind of lesson we need to learn, even a bad ending relationship can teach us something. Even the Ex has something to teach us. What is your lesson this time? How can you do differently next time? What do you really want in a man now? And what you really don’t want in a man?
You will feel when is the right moment to meet someone else, don’t force it. It will happen and usually it does happen when we don’t plan for it. When we are ready the Universe will guide us.
That’s All! Now, you can continue running for revenge or find the Light ;) Revenge doesn’t make you a better person and you are just feeding your “Ego” and your anger. Choose a better ending for yourself, give to yourself the right value you deserve.
Tell me about your story, I am happy to listen to you. Send me an email to: MyLifeCoach@Restartyoursoul.coach
I am Marika Carrone, a Certified Life Coach specialised in empowering women.