How to Improve Your Relationship With Yourself: 3 Ways

Coach Chris Magee by Chris Magee

Effects of not loving yourself


Mental health is the hot topic at the moment. A report by the Princes Trust stated the following. I give my own thoughts on each of the statistics. They are purely my opinion so feel free to comment:



44% of young people in Northern Ireland say they have experienced a mental health problem.


Mental health can come in many forms but today’s society puts a lot of pressure on young people (and even adults) to succeed and achieve success. If you are in a negative environment and don’t know how to practice self-love then you will enter a state of self-harming.



68% revealed they always or often feel stressed.


This isn’t just for young people. There is a real ‘Hustle’ mentality portrayed on social media where you need to work 18 hours a day 7 days a week if you want to be successful. Seeing this can make people neglect their health, food, exercise but most importantly sleep. I got caught up in this a while ago and my body and mind almost shut down. YOUR HEALTH COMES FIRST, WORK AND SUCCESS COME SECOND.



60% said they always or often feel anxious


When you don’t live in the present moment, anxiety or being anxious can creep up being easily. If your mind is on ‘What might happen’ or ‘What has happened’ then you are not in the frame of mind to control what you are doing right now. The present moment is the ONLY moment you can do anything about so take the necessary steps that you can in that moment and let the chips fall where they may.



And 33% reported they always or often feel hopeless
Hollywood and movies are always portraying that you stay strong and silent about your emotions. When they are bottled up and not dealt with in the correct way this can have a bad effect on your mental health. YOU HAVE TO FEEL IT TO HEAL IT.

3 Ways To Improve Your Relationship With Yourself
Improving this broken relationship with yourself will take time and energy – it is a long term fix. Time and repetition are the key to success.

Before you think about career, aspirations and what you want to achieve you must first become happy with who you are and love the relationship with yourself. Here are 3 simple ways to start TODAY:

Start Journaling
When you hear the word journaling you automatically think about a teenage girl writing about her problems starting with “Dear Diary”.

However, the reasoning for journaling goes much deeper than that. When you spend a part of your day writing about how you feel about certain situations you have time to process and be present with that emotion. Therefore, you deal with it in a health way. Examples are:

I feel angry because of…….
I love my wife today because…….
Stress has really affected me today because……
The more you do this the more you open up to yourself and when you read back over it you feel it correctly.

Stop Activities That Don’t Serve Your Best Interests
If you want to start a business, move up in your career or reach a personal goal but party every weekend consuming of binge drinking, alcohol and drugs then do you think this is serving your best interests?

Create a lifestyle of abundance full of great hobbies and great people. You’ll be surprised at how much this affects you.

Get Rid Of Toxic People
Quite possibly the most beneficial or hardest to do. These toxic people can be long term friends, work colleagues or even family in some cases.

You must figure out a way to get some positivity into your life and drown out the negativity from these people.

You can change jobs, make new friends and limit the time you spend with your negative family if possible.

This 1 step will make the biggest difference in your life. When you get rid of people telling you negative things all the time then your relationship with yourself will automatically improve then it will become enhanced when you have healthy people and healthy relationships in your life.

The Effort Is Worth It
This relationship with yourself takes time to improve but if you switch from self-harming behaviours to self-love you will see a massive difference.

You will feel happier, more energetic and will be productive in creating a life and lifestyle you truly love.


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