We have all been there haven’t we? 1st February rolls around and we realise we didn’t keep those new year resolutions we earnestly made, oops. Whether it be losing weight, learning a new skill, eating healthily or finding true love, why is it so tricky to stick to those good intentions we had at the start of the year?
Well, our brains really like the grooves and patterns of our existing habits. It is like a well trodden familiar path so it is easy and quick to take. It takes time and consistent practice to replace an old habit with a new one as we are forging a new route in our brains.
You might decide not to have any new year’s resolutions. But, if you really want to make a positive change for this year, what are some things you can do to keep at it?
Well, to start with, check your motivation for wanting to change. If you find yourself saying “I should do x…” or “I shouldn’t do Y”, then it is probably something that you don’t truly want to do. Make your resolution something you really want. Spend some time figuring out why it is important to you and what a difference it will make to your life.
Make a plan. If it is to eat more healthily, plan out what changes you will make to your diet and when. Have some milestones in there, so that you are not making a big change all at once, which is less likely to stick, but are instead making incremental small changes.
Be prepared for setbacks and when they happen, which they will, don’t beat yourself up about it. See what you can learn to avoid it happening again, jump back into your plan, see if it needs adjusting and re-commit to your goal.
Finally, it is much harder to make changes on our own. Tell a friend, co-worker or family member what change you are making. They can encourage you and help keep you accountable.
If your goals this coming year include learning to say ‘No’, having a better balance between looking after everyone else and looking after yourself, reclaiming your power and sexuality or effectively communicating your feelings that you would like some support with, let’s have a chat about how I can help. I offer a free, no obligation, introductory session where you can experience my coaching firsthand.
I also work with those interested in non-traditional relationships, LGBT+, kinky or polyamorous to support them on their journey.
I run a Facebook group for recovering people pleasers (women): https://m.facebook.com/groups/2306796212899957
Helen is an accredited Life and Relationship Coach who can be contacted on 07486871906 or visit www.helensnape.com