The importance of moving towards instead of moving away

Coach Dasha Lukiniha by Dasha Lukiniha

Have you ever found yourself in a situation you absolutely hate? Say it’s a job. You find yourself in a job that you do not find motivational, the one that lacks meaning for you, and you find it very unpleasant to get on a train every day and make your way over there. And you wait for it to get better. For your boss to stop giving you so much work. For the projects that are given to you to become interesting. For pay to increase. For you to start feeling motivated. And it’s just NOT happening.

So you start googling. You are looking through endless job posts of similar roles in similar companies. Because it feels like getting out AS SOON AS POSSIBLE is the only option to save your sanity. And it doesn’t matter, the change alone is bound to do you good, right? Not always.

What is happening is you are moving away, not moving towards.

Moving away from unpleasant feelings of feeling bored, feeling unable to set the right personal boundaries comfortable for you among many other things. So what will end up happening is you carry over many of your old belief systems into the new workplace. And of course, if your new job aligns with your values it will be very inspirational for you! But the questions of setting the right boundaries, of charging high comfortable fees for your services, of interpersonal communications will stay the same UNLESS you change your mindset first.

Always leave on a good note. Not hating your current circumstance but filled with gratitude for the opportunities you got here – even if it was just a painful learning experience, otherwise this pain has a high chance of carrying over to the new workplace.

Don’t jump ship impulsively even though it feels tempting – unless you have an idea you LOVE, in capital letters. Something that gets you going, something you feel wildly excited about, something you are moving TOWARDS.

If you find yourself stuck in a job that’s not motivating you, that’s not aligned with your true values and with your income expectations but you don’t have anything specific you would love to move towards – slow down, have a think why is it that this situation is happening with you right now. What do you need to learn? Do you need to set the right boundaries with people at work? This is your perfect opportunity to practice, your current situation is a mirror being held up at you showing you what you need to do to get happier. Of course I’m not talking about a situation where you are being abused – in which case run! But otherwise take some time to think about what is important for you? What are your values? Don’t run from uncomfortable feelings into new job, a similar situation, where you’ll have to go through this same exact loop again. And from a place of “moving towards” make that move, with a clear intention and while looking at the future with great hope and optimism.


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