I have a question for you:
If you flip a coin 10 times and it turns heads for 9 times, what is the chance of it turning heads on the 11th throw?
The answer is 50%, because the coin only has two sides, and it doesn't matter how many times it turned heads.
That was just a game to get you engaged, and has absolutely nothing with what I'm about to say.
Ha ha (serious face)
But seriously, the real question I have for you today is this:
How CONFIDENT do you feel in your every day life?
The way I define confidence is different than what the majority of so called "experts" define it.
Most of them define confidence as this belief in yourself, the belief that "you can do what you want to do."
While I agree with that on some level, the result of having confidence in the real world is not having the belief that "I can do whatever I want"...
But it's the ability to BE who you really are.
It's the ability to FULLY EXPRESS yourself.
Let me explain...
Here's a cool test I was telling you about in
the title of this article:
Let's say you meet someone new, maybe someone
that you think is important in some way, like
a new possible employer, a member of the opposite
sex or just a random person.
What do you do?
A) Try to present your best side and "hide" your
negative traits by restraining your self expression?
B) Have a strong sense of who you are inside, and
you are who you are without trying to impress the
C) Bark like a dogg
Now if you chosen the last answer, I'm not sure I
can help you, but I just LOVE myself today for
comming up with stuff like this.
Double ha ha (with a serious face)
Seriously, what do you do?
Do you allow yourself to be who you are, or do you
supress your real self because you think the
other person wouldn't approve of it?
Here's the trick: People get your bullshit.
People know when you're trying to "be cool" and
hide your bad traits.
And they don't get the right "vibe" from you.
They say something like: "If there's an oppening
for a job we'll give you a call" or "I just want
to be friends, nothing more"
Here's a rule : The more you try to impress,
the less you impress.
But if you have the confidence in the sense that
I'm talking about, then you CAN express yourself
You can be who you are, and people LOVE you.
They want to be around you, they like your energy,
they feel good around you and find you attractive.
So you don't need to fake, pretend or
play games about who you are.
You can be honest, direct, blunt and
So how to develop this self expressing
The base of your confidence is the
answer to this question:
How much do I really and honestly LOVE myself?
If you really love yourself, then other people
don't hold so much power over you.
You don't fear rejection or others judging you
or thinking bad of you.
You don't care what "others might think"
You don't feel inferior, or superior, but you
feel GOOOD about yourself.
And if you truly love yourself, you don't feel
like you "need" anybody in your life - you feel
good by being alone. And when you achieve that,
ironically, you become ATTRACTIVE to people.
Does this make sense?
So love yourself more.
Leave your fear of rejection and
being judged at home, and focus on being who
you want to be.
Here are some ways to start loving yourself more:
1) Know The Qualities That You Like About Yourself
NOBODY or very few people will ever tell you: "You know
i just love this about you"
That's why you need to nutrure your confidence
by saying those things to yourself on your own.
I reccommend sitting down with a piece of paper and
a pen, and writing down the answer to this question:
"What do I like about myself?"
Avoid things like "I like my car" or "I like my clothes".
Don't talk about external things you own, talk about
your INTERNAL qualities.
For example you might like generosity about yourself,
or you might like your sense of humor, you might like
your soft gaze in the eyes or your smile.
Write it down.
The society kind of condems us for LOVING ourselves.
The society even made a name for this: It's called
being an narcisist.
So here, I give you permission to feel good about
yourself, to feel love for yourself and to list
everything positive about yoruself.
Moving on to the number 2
2) Repeat Your List To Yourself Often
This is an interesting part.
Most of my clients make the list, read it once,
feel great...and never touch it again.
Which BOOGLES my mind.
So after I'm done with banging my head against
the wall, I pop the million dollar question:
WHY DID YOU STOP DOING IT?
If you feel good about it once, why would you stop
After researching this for quite some time, I realized
that we people have this common barrier called:
"You can't feel too good too much"
It has to do with fear that if we feel too good, we'll
be disapointed if something bad happens.
I'm asking you to let this go.
Forget about feeling bad. There are bad things in the
world, but you can feel good about yourself. Bad things
aren't going to become good just because you feel bad.
So let it go, and do the following thing:
Internalize your list by reading it out loud every day.
Keep in mind, these are NOT affirmations. Affirmations
are things like: "I'm postive I feel good I have a
mio dollars in the bank blah blah blah" and they
You know why?
Because they're not true!
You don't feel good, you don't have a mio dollars in
the bank and you're not positive!
You feel lousy, you're broke and you're negative as
However, the list of qualities that you wrote about
the things you like about yourself is TRUE.
I didn't gave it to you, you didn't make it up -
you just wrote down what was true that you like about yourself.
And that's why this works.
Because you REPEAT the truth!
If you start out your day with your list of things
that you like about yourself, do you think your day
will be any better?
Probably you'll feel better about yourself, and
because of that your energy is going to be better
and people will LIKE you more and will want to be
around you more.
3) Let Go Of Shame, Resentment and Anger
Negative emotions will KILL your love for yourself.
When you feel shame, it's impossible to love
When you feel resentment and hate, this just
back fires to you and you feel bad.
So let those things go.
Forgiving is like a warm shower of everything bad
that happened in the past.
When you forgive, you let go of the burden that
others have given to you - that you still hold.
So make a list of all the things that you hold
from the past.
Make a list of things you feel shame about
Make a list of people you resent and you feel
anger around about
Then go through each and every part of your list,
and let it go.
Forgive the people you resent, let go of anger,
let go of fear, forgive yourself for things
you feel shame about and LET GO.
When you do that, you'll notice you will feel
easier, lighter and more confident.
You will feel as if a burden from your past
has fallen of your shoulders.
There are more things you can do to start
loving yourself and become confident, self
expressive person that others love and
want to be around you (as be as witty and lovely
You can try out my new system for building
your confidence called The 6 Colors Of Confidenceâ„¢
by taking advantage of a free session with me.
If you want to get your free session with me,
send me a message and we'll set it up.